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Two for the Price of One/Transcript
on establishing shot of Zelda’s complex. Cut to inside as we see Cy-Star, Zelda and Yung-Star all gathered around in the main room. Cy-Star: Zelda! You must listen to me! Zelda: What is it Cy-Star? Cy-Star: My news! Zelda: Very well. Tell us if you must. Cy-Star: Welll…I am going to have….a Baaabyyyy!! drops the tray of drinking glasses she is holding and begins to shake as if she’s having a nervous breakdown Zelda: What…did…you say? Cy-Star: I’m going to have a baabyy. Isn’t it WOOOONDERFUUUUULL? Yung-Star: A baby? Ooohohohoho Zelda: A BAAABY? shocked expression turns to a frown. Cut to the surface of the Moon. Spacehawk is resting on the surface. The sun is rising in the distance. Hiro: (VO) The Sun. Giver of life and ruler of the Solar System. (OS) It is not surprising many civilisations, including we Japanese, recognise it’s majesty. Doctor Ninestein: Can you confirm your forecast Hiro? Hiro: I will know in about 30 minutes doctor. Ninestein: Right. We’ll start testing the Spacetank. Mary Falconer: Ten-Ten. presses a switch and a hangar door on Spacehawk opens up to act as a ramp. Cut to Hawkeye inside a vehicle control cabin. Hawkeye operates the throttle. The Spacetank drives out onto the Moon’s surface. Closeup of Zero and Dix Huit, both standing atop Zeroid receptacles built into the roof of the tank. Dix Huit is wearing goggles over his eyes. Shot of the Spacetank traversing the lunar surface. Cut back to Hawkeye and Kate Kestrel examining the controls. Hawkeye: You’ve gotta hand it to Tiger. The controls are pretty much the same as the Overlander. Kate Kestrel: Right. Except we have a lot more power here. 12 forward gears, 8 reverse. Hawkeye: Independent drive on all wheels. Kate: Quite a beast. How you doing Zero? to Zero and Dix Huit again. Sergeant-Major Zero: We is fine ma’am. What are those goggles for Dicks hewit? Dix Huit: To protect ze eyes patron, from ze wind. Zero: There is no wind because there is no air on the moon you nit! Dix Huit: No air? (Note. Because of Dix Huit’s French accent, the word ‘air’ sounds like ‘hair’) Zero: Not unless you count that dead mouse on your top lip. Hm-hm-hm-hm-hm. shot of the Spacetank rolling along. Cut to interior of Spacehawk. Ninestein, Mary and Hiro are at the controls. Ninestein: The Spacetank is a new unproven vehicle. Kate: (VO) Right Tiger. Ninestein: The Moonscape’s the nearest we’ve got to the conditions we may well encounter on Mars. Mary:…Mars? Ninestein: Test it all the way. Right to the limit. Kate: (VO) Ten-ten. Mary: Alright Tiger. You’ve got a theory. Tell me about it. Ninestein: It’s more than a theory Mary. If I can put this together, it’ll be the biggest operation Terrahawks has ever undertaken. to Spacetank interior as Hawkeye operates the throttle Hawkeye: Power gear one. Kate: Let’s give it the gun! picks up speed and starts to rock about. Cut to Zero and Dix Huit. Dix Huit: You had better hang on to something patron. Zero: Hm-hm-hm. No need boy. Not when you is hard as nails like me. the Spacetank bounces around, Zero suddenly begins jolting around and exclaiming in pain. Dix Huit smirks because he used his clamps to secure himself beforehand. Zero: Gah!-AH!-OH!-GHU!-OH!-AH!-OW!-OH!-ah!-eh! Hawkeye: Power gear eight! Kate: She’s going great! is now rumbling and bucketing along like a bronco. The dust kicked up by the activity blows right in Zero and Dix Huit’s way. Dix Huit: No air! But *cough* but plenty of dust! Zero: I noticed-*coughing* shot of Spacetank. Cut back to Spacehawk interior. Mary: Look at these results. What a test run! Ninestein: Hm. Looks good. Hiro? Hiro: The solar flare activity is some of the greatest since recorded observations began. Ninestein: Eh-It’s all slotting into place. to Zelda’s complex. Closeup of Cy-Star wrapped up in blankets. Zelda watches over her while Yung-star sulks in the corner. Zelda: Are you comfortable my pretty one? Cy-Star: Yes thank you Zelda. Oh. This is fun! Yung-Star: Fun? Huh. I don’t think it’s fun. What will it be? Zelda: What will what be you slobbering simpleton!?! Yung-Star: The baby of course. Will it be a boy or a girl? Zelda: We are androids. Cy-Star can decide what it will be! Yung-Star: Have you decided Cy-Star? Cy-Star: Yes. Yung-Star: Well? Cy-Star: Well what? Yung-Star: Is it a boy or a girl? Cy-star: …Not going to tell you. Yung-Star: OooGuuhh. Zelda: Stop that. All this, need not concern you Yung-Star. You’re a man. Although, I sometimes have my doubts about that. Zelda and Yung-Star cackle together Yung-Star: Women. Huh! to Spacetank back on the moon. It’s aiming its cannon towards a large barrel on a nearby hill. Cut to the view through the targeting recital as the sights line up. Kate: We’re set. Mary: Fire at will! Kate: (VO) Ten-ten! missile fires and the barrel is knocked over Zero: Goh! Smack on the nose! Dix Huit: But where was ze big bangs? Zero: Youuu. They was test projectiles. When we fires the real thing, then you’ll see big bangs boy. In capital letters! Mm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm. to Spacehawk interior Mary: Well Tiger? Ninestein: Oh-The situation seems almost too good to be true. I need a little time to think. departs for through the door while Mary and Hiro exchange glances. Cut back to Cy-star, fast asleep, while Zelda and Yung-Star look over her. Yung-Star: Mother. Zelda: Shh! Keep your voice down. What do you want? Yung-Star: ...Do you remember, when I was born? Zelda: Of course I do. You cretin. Yung-Star: What was I like? Zelda: An enormous Disappointment! suddenly wakes from Zelda’s shouting Cy-Star: Oh! I must have dropped off. Zelda: Look what you’ve done now you thoughtless youth! How do you feel my precious one? Cy-Star: A little strange… I think… Zelda: Yees? Cy-Star: I think… Zelda: What do you think? Cy-Star: I think…I’ll have a little nap. Yung-Star: Oh-nnnnurghhhhh. to Spacehawk exterior shot. Kate Kestrels’ song ‘Don’t take my heart’ is playing. All the members of Terrahawks are dancing along and having fun. Suddenly Mary turns to see Ninestein has returned from his chamber. Hawkeye looks to Kate. Hawkeye: Kate? promptly switches the radio off Ninestein: At ease. walks over to the far side of the room to address everyone Ninestein: The unusually high sun flare activity will produce an equally powerful solar wind. Hiro: It is already streaming across space at speeds of up to 1000 miles per second. Ninestein: We’ll use it as a screen to cover an all out attack on Zelda’s complex. Hawkeye: An all out attack? Great! Ninestein: We’ll land at a safe distance, and go in on the ground using Spacetank. Questions? shuffles around Ninestein: Prepare for liftoff. shot of Spacehawk taking off from the moon surface. Ninestein: Set course…for Mars. to external shot of Zelda’s complex Cy-Star: (VO) Zelda? Where are you? to interior shot of Zelda running up to Cy-Star Zelda: What is it? Cy-Star: I think… Zelda: What? Cy-Star: Yes. It moved!...it’s time. Zelda: Time?...ooh. Time. It’s time! Uh! Don’t sit there Yung-Star! Er-You Oaf! I-it’s time! Uh-Help me with Cy-Star! Boil some water! Fetch the towels! Don’t Panic! Don’t Panic! Yung-Star: Oh-uh-uh-uh. What’s happening mother? Zelda: Happening? Cy-Star is going to have the baby! stands with mouth open and then promptly faints. Closeup on Cy-Star’s face. End of part 1. Begin part 2. shot of Zelda's base. Zoom out on a steeple shaped door labelled 'ARRIVALS'. Zelda is moving towards the door, her arm around Cy-Star. She turns to Yung-Star who is off screen. Zelda: Turn on the power to the delivery room! of Yung-Star glancing over at a button on the wall with circle markings around it Zelda: (VO) That's it. (OS) Turn it on. presses the button and Zelda and Cy-Star enter through the doorway. Yung-Star moves to follow them, but the door shuts in his face. He stares in disbelief at being shut out. Cut to Spacehawk approaching Mars. Interior panning shot from Space Sergeant 101 to Hiro and Mary. 101: ETA Martian orbit, 58 minutes. Ninestein: Under normal conditions, Zelda instrumentation would have picked us up by now. Mary: Yes. The space wind's acting as a perfect cover. to Yung-Star trying to listen to the Ferret. There is no sound to be heard. Yung-Star: What's happened to the Earth music? The Ferret is useless! Something is interfering with the waves. glances back towards the 'Arrivals' doorway Yung-Star: (VO) OOooh. I wonder what's (OS) going on in there. moves towards the door once more. As it opens, Zelda suddenly appears. Zelda: Get out! And where's that boiling water you undulant idiot!?! shuts the door again. Yung-Star quickly hurries off. Cut to Spacehawk entering Mars atmosphere. Hiro: Landing site identified. Ninestein: This is a Ten-Fourty. red warning panel flashes on, reading 'Battle stations' and an alarm plays. Hiro presses a button and all the lighting in the ship dims red. Ninestein: Hiro. Take us down. much like how it landed on the moon, touches down on it's side. Cut back to Ninestein Ninestein: The destruction of Zelda's complex and everyone in it. (VO)...code it, (OS) Operation Deliverance... Launch the Spacetank. presses some switches. The Spacetank exits Spacehawk along the same ramp as before, onto to the Martian surface. Another zoom in on Zero and Dixhuit, except both are now wearing goggles and are properly secured to the Spacetank. Cut to Hawkeye operating the throttle. Hawkeye: Power gear five! Kate: (OS) Let's drive. drives away from the camera. Cut to Yung-Star carrying a bucket of boiling water to the Arrivals door. Yung-Star: It's hooot! Ooooh... opens the door Zelda: Yung-Star. There's a complication. Yung-Star: A what, mother? Zelda: Oh never mind. It's an emergency! Bring me a crowbar. Yung-Star: Pardon? Zelda: ARE YOU DEAF AS WELL AS MENTALLY RETARDED? A crowbar! shuts the door off screen and Yung-Star begins to panic Yung-Star: Oh. Ooooh. Oh. Oh. It's an emergency! It's an emergency! drops the bucket of boiling water and it spills all over the floor Yung-Star: OOH. OW! to Spacetank still travelling towards the Mars complex. Closeup on Zero and Dixhuit. Zero: This is it Dicks hewit. There'll be...gongs for all of us. Dix Huit: Gongs? Vat is zis gongs? Zero: Medals you hairy twit! The World President will pin em on us himself! Mm-hm-hm-hm-hm! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. to the interior of Spacetank Hawkeye: 18 miles from Zelda's complex! Kate: They must detect us soon. to Yung-Star walking through the Arrivals door, carrying a crowbar Yung-Star: Will this do mother? to Zelda standing over Cy-Star who is lying flat to the table Zelda: (OS) I suppose it'll have to. Bring it in. (VO) I may need your help. complies and walks further in. Cut back to Spacetank, still approaching the base. Hiro, Mary and Ninestein are still watching it's progress. Hiro: 7 miles from target. It appears we are still undetected. looks thoughful for a few seconds Ninestein: Kate. Stop the Spacetank. Kate: (VO) Confirm? Ninestein: Stop Spacetank. Kate: (VO) Ten-ten. sets the throttle back to zero. The Spacetank comes to a halt atop a ridge overlooking Zelda's complex. Mary: What's wrong Tiger? Ninestein: ...It's too easy. I wanta know what's happening inside that complex. Kate. Try a sound scan. radio dish rises from the turret of Spacetank and directs itself towards Zelda's base. Cut to Hawkeye and Kate inside the Spacetank. Kate: We're picking up something. Ninestein: (VO) Patch it through. radio suddenly starts playing back Yung-Star's sing song babblings Yung-Star: (VO) Oh woh golly olly golly! It's nearly here! The-The baby's coming! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh-the baby's almost here! The baby's almost here! Oooh-goody goody goody! Mary:...A baby!?! Kate: A baby? Ninestein: Baby?...Prepare to open fire! Hawkeye: Ten-ten! turret rotates round until the complex is square in it's sights. Cut back to Spacehawk interior. Mary: It's a birth... Ninestein: Arm Projectiles! Mary: Tiger! You can't! You've heard what's happening! Ninestein: Mary, don't you see? They're androids! They can't have babies! Hawkeye: (VO) Projectiles armed! Mary: Tiger! Someone or something in that complex is about to deliver a new life! No matter how monstrous or evil a form it may grow into, it all starts with one rare and beautiful gift...The gift of innocence. Hawkeye: Ready to fire. Mary: Tiger! We can't take innocent life! Hawkeye: (VO) Repeat. Ready to fire. and Mary stare intensely at each other for several seconds. Finally Ninestein moves to speak into the radio. Ninestein: Hold fire. to Cy-Star inside the Arrivals chamber Cy-Star: I can't stand it any longer. Do something Zelda! advances towards Cy-Star, looking between her and the crowbar several times in quick succession. Zelda: Alright my precious one. Ah. Ah. I'll...I'll do it now. begins to use the crowbar to pry at something. A spring sound can be heard as we get a closeup of Cy-Star's face. Zelda: Give me some light Yung-Star! walks into frame, holding an old fashioned oil lamp, while Zelda resumes her prying. Creaking sounds can now be heard. Zelda: Hold the light steady you moron! to Spacetank. An alarm goes off inside the cockpit. Hawkeye: Malfunction in the firing system! Kate: Check it out. back to Cy-Star's birthing Cy-Star: Quickly! Quickly! Zelda: I'm...almost...there! begins to make increasingly worried noises as the sound of sloppy, squishy goo can now be heard. Zelda: It's...there...Push! Yung-Star help me! PUUUSH! cut back to an overhead shot to reveal that Zelda and Yung-Star have opened...an incubation chamber. Cy-Star glances over in relief. Zelda: There it is. Coochie-Coochie-COOCHIE-COOCHIE-COOCHIE-COOCHIE! Choochie Choochie. back to Hawkeye and Kate inside Spacetank Kate: The projectiles are going critical. We must open fire! stares from both Mary and Ninestein as the situation counts down. Cut back to the arrivals room as the newborn exits the incubation chamber. It begins to look wildly around the room. The hair is totally wild and the face looks rather like a freakish mesh between a doll and an old man. Yung-Star: What is it? Is it a boy or a girl? Cy-Star: It's a...Goybirl! and Yung-Star both stare back at the newborn who seems to have calmed down a slight bit. Cut back to Spacetank interior. Kate: (OS) Time's running out Tiger. (VO) We must fire in the next 20 seconds. Mary: Innocent life Tiger! period of silence passes Ninestein: Open fire, but aim thirty degrees left. makes the trajectory correction and then fires off two explosives which go up in a massive fireball some 20 feet away from the complex. Inside, Zelda is alerted by the explosions. Zelda: (OS) We are under attack! Launch the ZEAFS! (VO) Launch the ZEAFS! ???: I'm frightened uncle Yung-Star. Yung-Star: Don't worry. I'll take care of you. ???: Vell? Vat are you waiting for turnip head? Get me out of zis thing! ZEAFS pursue the Spacetank as it barrels it's way back to Spacehawk. Dust flies and Explosions go off all around. Several closeups of Kate, Hawkeye, Zero and Dix Huit. At last, Spacetank returns to Spacehawk in one piece. Ninestein: Get us out of here Hiro! Hiro: Ten-ten. Ninestein: Full power! takes off from the surface of Mars and promptly begins the long journey back to Earth, the ZEAFS firing on it all the way. The Space Zeroids open fire on both and are successful in destroying them. Spacehawk and the Terrahawks return to Earth to lick their wounds. Cut back to Zelda's Mars base. The newborn is sucking on it's thumb as the androids of Mars congregate. Zelda: We have a very bright child here. ???: Thank you granny Zelda. Yung-Star: What's wrong with the back of it's head? ???: Vat's wrong vith ze front of yours you slobber schnitzel? Zelda: HAHAHAHAHAAA! Cy-Star: It's like that because we brought him out too soon. Yung-Star: But we had to, or else he would have been late for his birthday! ???:...Is zis fellow for real meint Grandmother? Zelda: I'm afraid so. We must decide on a name for this child. Yung-Star: But, It's got a boy's voice and a girl's voice. Zelda: Cy-Star? You must choose. Cy-Star: A name...uhh...It's... Zelda: Yes? Cy-Star: It's... Zelda: Go on... Cy-Star: It's...IT-STAR! It-Star/girl: I'm made of sugar and spice and all things nice. Ahahaha. Hahahah*hic*hehahaha It-Star/boy: And I am made of snips and snails and puppy dogs tails, and anything else that is not so good and smelly. In fact, I am pretty evil. Hahahahahah. Zelda: Two. For the price of one! four androids now begin to manically laugh as one as the credits start to roll End of Episode. Category:Terrahawks Category:Terrahawks Episodes Category:Episode Transcripts